Q&A: Second Marriage

Question

“I am 29 years old, married with 3 children.

I recently met a girl whom I became serious with and want to marry.

I made some dua and asked Allah to guide me,I had a dream. I am beating my new spouse for the reason that she cheated me.

What does it mean?

Please advise”

Answer

“Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah,

Before I answer your question, I must ask. You say you are already married with 3 children. Why are you looking for another spouse? Are you not satisfied with your current marriage? If you are not, then trying to find another wife will only lead to the destruction of your first marriage, know that this is a guarantee. The solution to your problems is not to run away from them but to face them and fix them.

And if you tell me things are fine in your first marriage, in that case, what's the reason to go for a second marriage? In the times we live in, this is not sustainable unless you are very rich or live in a society where this is acceptable. In all first-world countries, it is not something that is seen as acceptable and your whole life will be one of problems and challenges that you need to constantly manage. Are you prepared to do this? And even if so, at what expense? You have 3 kids to raise. Do you sincerely believe that you can give your children and your first wife all their due rights and attention, all while having a second wife on the side?

These are serious questions that you need to ask yourself before you venture out just to seek some personal satisfaction through a second marriage.

Now about your dream, you say you asked Allah SWT for guidance and He has given you a very obvious and clear answer in the form of a dream. The dream you saw cannot be any clearer than that. Allah SWT is sending you a clear message that this woman you are pursuing will be a source of tremendous headaches and troubles in your life. Do you see that there is any other way to interpret this message? You don't need any special skills to interpret this one brother, Allah SWT is making it so obvious and clear to you.

I hope that insha'Allah you will ponder upon my words and consider my advice before you destroy your life and that of your family with this pursuit that you are seeking.

May Allah SWT grant you ease and what is best in this life and the next.

Wassalam!”