Q&A: Returning from Sin
Question
“Hello there,
A brother of mine (revert) From the UK has been a Muslim for 9 years and has always been pious. He however was very ignorant to how Allah and the Prophet saw sin. He didn’t know the difference between minor and major sin and never knew of punishments either. He prayed and followed all the pillars except he never read much Quran and understood it.
He’s told me that 2 years ago he met the wrong people and briefly did some very bad things inc. Adultry, zina, drinking.
He’s come back to Islam and follows completely however he lives his life terrified as he now knows the gravity of what he’s done and is always thinking Allah will damn him to hell and the only way to be saved is to be stoned to death. Everyone has forgiven him but he can’t move on due to all these hadiths and Quran passages which makes him feel like his life is over. He’s made repentance already too...
What advice would you give?”
Answer
“Wa Alaykum Assalam Wa Rahmatullah,
This scenario you speak of is a very common one and has existed since the beginning of Islam, even with the Sahaba (the companions of the Prophet SAAWS) themselvevs. No one is perfect and everyone has made mistakes in their lives, whether minor or major. Allah SWT says in the Qur'an in Surat Aal-Imraan:
﴿١٣٥﴾ وَالَّذِينَ إِذَا فَعَلُوا فَاحِشَةً أَوْ ظَلَمُوا أَنْفُسَهُمْ ذَكَرُوا اللَّهَ فَاسْتَغْفَرُوا لِذُنُوبِهِمْ وَمَنْ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَلَمْ يُصِرُّوا عَلَىٰ مَا فَعَلُوا وَهُمْ يَعْلَمُونَ ﴿١٣٦﴾ أُولَٰئِكَ جَزَاؤُهُمْ مَغْفِرَةٌ مِنْ رَبِّهِمْ وَجَنَّاتٌ تَجْرِي مِنْ تَحْتِهَا الْأَنْهَارُ خَالِدِينَ فِيهَا ۚ وَنِعْمَ أَجْرُ الْعَامِلِينَ
135. And those who, when they commit an indecency or wrong themselves, remember Allah and ask forgiveness for their sins—and who except Allah forgives sins? And they do not knowingly persist in their wrongdoing. 136. These—their reward is forgiveness from their Lord, and Gardens beneath which rivers flow, remaining in it forever. How excellent is the reward of the workers!
You have to remind your friend that Allah SWT does not tire from the repentance of his slave until he himself tires from asking for it. Examine this Hadith Qudsi (Divine Hadith):
A man came to the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, and he said, “O Messenger of Allah, one of us has committed a sin.” The Prophet said, “It will be written against him.” The man said, “Then he has sought forgiveness and repented.” The Prophet said, “He will be forgiven and his repentance accepted.” The man said, “Then he returns to committing a sin.” The Prophet said, “It will be written against him.” The man said, “Then he has sought forgiveness and repented.” The Prophet said, “He will be forgiven and his repentance accepted. Allah will not tire of forgiveness unless you are tired of asking.”
As for the atonement he is seeking from his past sins, we are not living at a time where the hudud (punishments according to Shari'ah) are carried out, and thus his only resort to purify himself is to seek forgiveness from Allah SWT directly. It is already noble enough and a sign of true remorse that his feeling of guilt compels him to seek imposing the hadd of zina onto himself. Let him use this feeling of helplessness and brokenness to plead to Allah SWT and seek His pleasure and forgiveness, and Allah SWT will forgive him; just as the Prophet SAAWS said to the man who committed adultery and then similarly came to him to have the hadd of zina executed upon him, he said to him: "Go! Leave and repent to Allah and seek His forgiveness!". The Prophet SAAWS did not want to impose the hadd upon him until he insisted. This goes to show us that the Mercy and Forgiveness of Allah SWT is greater than any sin.
I would say to this brother: Do not let your past sins define you and ruin your present state with Allah! He has now guided you to the right path and has saved you from the path of destruction you were upon, so praise God and thank Him and focus on doing good and positive actions to make up for the lost time spent doing wrong actions. Dwelling over the past will bring you no benefit, and Allah SWT wants to see you grow and learning from your mistakes, and being a good happy servant, pleased with His Lord.
Keep a regular daily habit of istighfaar (saying 'Astaghfirullah Al-Adheema Wa Atoobu ilayh') of at least 100 times morning and evening with presence of heart. And focus on the passages of Qur'an that give glad tidings to the believers and the repenters, such as the one we have quoted above.
And finally, increase yourself in knowledge as much as you can. The Prophet SAAWS said: "A single knowledgeable believer is harder on Satan than a thousand devout worshippers." Protect yourself from shaytaan with knowledge. Join study circles of Qur'anic tafseer and hadith and fiqh. We have some that run here through the QUMSA, feel free to inquire about them and join us if you can.
So to recap:
1- Do lots of good deeds to make up for the bad ones of the past
2- Engage in much istighfaar morning and evening
3- Increase yourself in knowledge, starting with the essentials of Islam.
Please read the articles in this link for additional clarification and benefit:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/a-reader-on-tawba-repentance/
May Allah SWT give you success in the dunya and the akhira!
Wassalam!